It's been a whole month since I've post. As I read what I have previously wrote, I realized that the Lord will show me my right path, and if that's to be a missionary, then He'll let me know. He won't let me astray. Since this month has passed I have been getting a foothold in my work at Costco. I've slowly gotten into the groove of things, and have been enjoying it more. I try to get to know all of my coworkers. So far I've been doing pretty well at it. I love meeting new people. I'm always interested in how they are, their personalities, goals, or any other quirks about them. I know this may sound weird, but it's true. So as I try to get to know more of my coworkers, I begin to feel like Costco is a community of generally good, sincere people, though some that are just passing through, others are lifers, and some people who are undecisive of their future.
In other news, I've found out about some sad news that greatly affects me. This news gives me the mentality to just give up on hope, a glass half empty if you will. Why can't things just work out the way they schould? Now I know how I sound. I realize that this is never true. Nothing is ever really set in stone, save for a few everlasting things. But this grave news has set a shift in my mood and mentality. I'll just keep praying for this issue to resolve itself, and that no one becomes emotionally harmed.
In the time where I find that I need to be the most decisive, I'm finding the complete opposite is true. My indecisiveness has taken an even greater turn. Summer? Wow. Well I can either stay in Santa Cruz or move back to Don Pedro. My job at Costco is going well, I have few friends here that I would be upet to leave, and I would miss my Dad for the summer. On the other hand, if I get this government job in the Yosemite/Don Pedro area I could potentially be getting way more money that I could ever hope for, live back at my old home, be able to see all of my friends I left behind--including some of my closest--and I'll be only half hour from my sister and her family. I'm finding this decision to be getting very complicated and heavy. I'll keep praying about this situation, and whatever happens, I know that I was meant to be whever the Lord puts me.
As time keeps slipping by what with school being half over, my hair getting really long, and more and more exec. checks, I keep finding myself thinking about the time when we just moved to California. What a new and exciting place it was, and how carefree I was at the time. To be able to walk around Roaring Camp Drive, to go up to the dead end and play around the wild boysenberry bush, if only I was able to be as carefree now. Now though, as I'm becoming an adult, I have responsibility that keeps me in line. I have all these choices I have to make, which don't bother me, but keep latching on to every little detail in my life, which in the longrun, could greatly affect my life and lives of others. I realize now that adults make as much mistakes as children do, it's just that children have the excuse of their youth, while adults have the seniority of knowing better.
Adults and teenagers can never understand each other. I don't buy the excuse that parents were once teenagers. I'm not denying the law of biology, but what I'm saying is parents' were teens in a totally different decade. I think people put a blockade up for so many reasons but one might be that adults don't want their teens to grow up because they're afraid that their teens aren't ready to make their own choices. On the other hand, Teenagers are ready to shift into independence and are definitely uncertain of what the future holds, but feel they need a different identity than their parents. Parents are key to influencing the child. So take for example, when one parent strongly agrees with one politician and always talks about the great things that this politician does for the country. You've only heard about the great things this person did, and you obviously look up to your parents and strongly agree with them, and so they cast a shadow as to what you think about this politician. But what's the other side of the story with the politician? We need to discover things on our own, and for adults to criticize this discovery disheartens the teenager. I don't really know what I'm trying to send out here. This might be somewhat true with me, but not completely. My parents are very smart and are great at their parenting skills. They know their children need to learn independence. The kids just need to get out and mess up, and learn.....Get to know things in a different aspect than their parents. Otherwise, what's to become of them if their parents control their every choice? Now that's a scary thought.
I will end this with a phoenix-esque tale. Out of the ashes of my broken, old Nokia phone, comes a new Samsung Sync. I don't know what to do with it. I feel like I need to protect it, so I try to use it as less as possible.
I'll be praying about these situations and thougts.
Thanks for reading my rambling. I hope it doesn't confuse the general populace.
